Google, it seems, has stolen my identity. Well, that’s a bit
harsh – they didn’t exactly steal it. That implies something nefarious. But
they did, in effect, take it from me. Or, more precisely, they’ve denied it to
me. They refuse to accept that I am who I say I am. In fact, the message reads:
“We have determined that your name does not comply with the Google + names
policy.”
It all began – this descent into obscurity - with an email
from my brother inviting me to join Google Circles, which is a social
networking site managed by Google +, an extension of Google. Now, I’ve had an
account with Google for some time, under my given name, which is Bonnie
Council. And while I realize that Bonnie Council is not exactly glamorous or
catchy or even memorable, it is still my name. The only name I’ve ever used,
except for during two failed marriages, after the second of which I happily
re-claimed it, vowing to never again relinquish that one tenuous hold to my
solitary identity.
But Google + doesn’t think it is my real name. The question
remains, and for some reason remains unanswered, in spite of numerous – well,
three, anyway – requests to the folks at the Google + feedback site, which is, what
in heaven’s name is it about my name that makes it noncompliant with their
so-called “names policy?”
Here’s the thing. They tell you on the site that you can use
nicknames, of which I have none, and that you can change your name up to three
times in two years. They also say you can’t use a company name or even a group
name, like for example Jones Family. However, if your legal name is Charles
Jones, Jr. but you normally go by Chuck Jones, or even Junior Jones, then you
can use that name. So with that sort of flexibility, it would seem they would
be at least a little forgiving of the fact that even though my name sounds sort of official, it is still my real name.
They want the name your friends, family and co-workers know you by. That, for
me, is Bonnie Council.
The really strange part of this whole time consuming imbroglio
is that they even have an appeals process whereby, if they’ve determined that
your name doesn’t comply with their policy and you disagree with that decision,
you can send more information, like for example a web address or even copies of
legal documentation, such as a driver’s license, to assure them you are who you
say you are. So, dutifully I sent them my web address (http://www.onlyme-bonniesblog.blogspot.com/)
after which I was shocked to receive my second rejection. After another few days
of metaphorically crying in my beer I then not too eagerly gave in and sent
them a copy of my drivers’ license. Followed by an unceremonious third
rejection.
Fine, I figured. Who needs them?
Turns out, I do. After explaining the whole perplexing saga to
my brother and then politely telling Google to kiss my keister, I promptly
forgot all about it. Until I attempted to access a new feature on Picasa, the photo
editing site I’ve used exclusively for the past several months. Seems Picasa is
a feature of Google + and because Google + thinks I do not exist, Picasa, by
default, does the same. Basically I’ve been barred from the sandbox.
I feel as if they’ve decided that I’m not a nice person, the
equivalent of a playground pervert, something “other.” Someone undeserving of
even a reasonable explanation of why they don’t believe I am who I say I am,
and why my name does not comply with their names policy. In spite of the fact
that my brother, with the same last name, was accepted without issue.
Now it’s become more than just annoying. It’s actually a
little humiliating, this “rejection,” and the fact that there is no one I can even
communicate with about it. So I’ve decided to go public. My hope being that perhaps some reasonable
soul at Google will actually see this post. And then maybe someone will finally
decide I’m real after all.
Because I am. I really, really am.
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